When an apology is not enough

Note: This is a personal commentary based on my experience attending the Call to Action meeting on Tuesday, Sept. 15 at First Missionary Baptist Church. I am not a reporter. Reporters’ accounts of this evening can be found on various other news outlets.

I had not been in that sanctuary before. I knew of the church and that they had hosted and facilitated the Cooling Center for the homeless over this long, hot summer. I was immediately struck by the old wood all across the front of the sanctuary. It gleamed in beautiful condition. The red carpet was plush and well maintained. When you have been inside a lot of church sanctuaries, you notice these things. Up front, there was a cross lit up in red.

Next, I noticed that although I was fairly early, there were almost no seats left. The sanctuary was full of Black people, talking animatedly. I walked slowly down the center aisle toward the front, feeling conspicuous. No one usually likes to sit in the front at church, so there are usually spaces. Sure enough, there was an empty aisle seat on the second row. I slid in. As I walked up the aisle, I noticed a veritable who’s who of notable Black people from the community. There was a row of pastors already seated across the front and another section of pastors to one side, probably 20 in all. There were no white pastors there, except me, and I am unknown to them and retired. I was glad to see one woman on the dais, Pastor Jeanette Richo. She is an elder stateswoman of the Black church and longtime community activist, having founded Hope House. There were only a handful of white people present. I felt sad about that. Across the aisle from me was the Democratic candidate for the congressional seat representing our district. In addition, Dr. Kathy Burns, our superintendent of schools was present and she was invited to come sit in the front row. It could not have been easy for her to be there.

The host pastor, Rev. D. K. Bolden, Sr., who has been pastor there for 29 years, opened the two-hour meeting. There was no doubt he was in command of that room. After all the proper greetings, he gave the statement of purpose for the gathering. I was in awe of his use of language to make comparisons, contrasts and analogies to make his points. He put everyone on notice that any hate was to be left at the door. It had no place in this house of God. We were there to hear from a number of religious, civic and community leaders and to come together as a community to unite in forming a plan of action from this point in time.

Not everyone present was aware that the school’s investigation into the precipitating incident had come to a close and had been posted online just a few hours earlier. Many were aware and others were informed. In the investigation’s conclusion, it was made clear that apologies to the other district’s school had been made. There was a groundswell of feeling that I heard and sensed that these apologies were not enough, because they did not go far enough in addressing the hurt and fear that were caused. Every speaker acknowledged that we need to protect our children and give them a safe and inclusive environment in which to learn and grow.

This cannot happen when young people are fearful. While the intent of actions may have been innocent enough, albeit immature, the unintended consequences have spiraled. What has come to the surface is a longstanding feeling within the Black community of not being heard or respected, experiencing language and actions that were belittling and then were without consequence. There were several speakers and a number of those present who were graduates of Nassau County schools. They echoed the sentiments that this was nothing new.

What was new was the community’s conviction that enough was enough and that significant changes needed to occur now throughout the system and within our wider community.

A desire for clear consequences for those involved was expressed. The school board is following its policies, as well as reviewing them, and they are in dialogue with the school involved in Duval County. Athletic teams are constantly interacting with each other, so things need to be made clear. The school leadership is constrained by confidentiality because minors are involved. I would hope all parents would want that for their children.

The church and civic leadership present were firm in their expressed commitment to working together so that significant change could come. There is work to be done which will take a lot of dedicated effort. I was feeling the weight of all that entails after having been involved for a number of years in conflict resolution work when I was in ministry at the regional level in my denomination.

We have all had the experience of being hurt and of not being heard. Magnify that for generations within a minority, That is not acceptable in a community like ours that purports to care about each other.

The resources available are many. The wealth of connections of people and organizations with vast experience were present in that sanctuary. Now the work of harnessing the emotion and directing it toward positive action is ahead.

I left feeling blessed and hopeful that together, our community can use this incident as a catalyst for meaningful and lasting change.