We Remember

Do you have a family member or friend who died in the service of their country? This is the weekend to pause and remember them, and commemorate the sacrifice they made on our behalf.

I had an uncle I never knew. He was my father’s only brother, older by only 20 months. They were inseparable growing up. There was a great deal of sibling rivalry between them, especially in sports. One of only two remaining photos in my possession is of my father leaning into the tape to win a track event, just steps ahead of his brother for the first and only time.

My uncle Robert was killed in a freak accident on an Army Air Corps air strip in Texas at the end of the war in April 1945. The plane he was about to pilot had engines revved. He was doing an inspection when the aircraft came loose from its moorings, caught him in its propellers, and ran over him. My father’s family never recovered from this tragic death. My brother carries his name as his middle name.

My family’s loss is just one of thousands upon thousands of the men and women who have given their lives in our country’s service.

A member of the last church I served spent every Memorial Day making phone calls for hours. He commanded a battalion in Italy during World War II. On Memorial Day, he called the families of every service member lost under his command. He kept a list. He did this every year. When I learned of his practice, he had been doing this for 60 years. He was 95. He wanted to be sure those families knew their loved one was not forgotten.

I have never spent an entire day on the phone comforting people I have never met.

The opening photo for this commentary is the American Cemetery in Luxembourg. I visited it in the 1990s when my brother was stationed in Germany. Those buried here lost their lives in the Battle of the Bulge, which took place in Belgium and Luxembourg from Dec.16, 1944 to January 25, 1945. It was a complicated battle, evidenced by this graph. At the cemetery, this map is displayed on a huge stone wall. We took a photo of the three service members in our party standing under it: one Navy veteran of the Korean War, one Marine veteran of Vietnam and one currently serving Air Force officer. Two of those three are no longer with us. This was the bloodiest battle in American history, and it was fought in adverse weather conditions to hold the Western Front for the Allies. Those rows upon rows of markers, with both crosses and stars of David on them, evoke a profound hush and a deep respect. I walked up and down the rows, noting the ages of those who died: 18, 19, 20, 21.

Map of the Battle of the Bulge

Marble markers in cemeteries show age or mold. These thousands of graves are pristine and white. That is because they have each been adopted by area residents and are visited and cleaned annually. People in European countries remain grateful for their liberation and show it in many ways, including caring for these markers. There is even a waiting list of those eager to be assigned a grave to tend. I have seen my uncle’s marker maybe twice in my life.

I had a different closing intended for this commentary until I came across a Facebook post written by a friend from my former congregation. I share just a few brief excerpts for you because he is good at expressing himself. He wrote for his uncle, a Vietnam veteran who recently passed away. He did not die in battle. His death was hastened by the long-term effects of Agent Orange.

He wrote:

"I could really do without the Memorial Day sales. Does absolutely everything in this country have to always be about money? No one gave their lives on D-Day so we could get a discount on a new refrigerator. All the commercials with their waving flags and patriotic music telling us to "celebrate" Memorial Day with big, big savings!

It's disgusting when you think about it.

You don't celebrate a memorial. Memorial day is observed, not celebrated.

If you care to make the argument that spending a day with our friends and family enjoying the benefits of our fallen soldier's sacrifice is appropriate? I can see that. The parades and barbecues we enjoy were bought and paid for, we should honor that and make some good memories. I'd love to see a day when we…circle back to what the day is really about. They sacrificed so we could be with our friends and family. Make the most of the time you have with them, make the minutes count."

         -Joe Osborne, May 22, 2026. (used with permission)