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Feeding kindness
Have you ever been in a public place and witnessed an angry customer? My guess is that you have. An airport, a restaurant, a grocery store — it can happen anywhere. I was recently at the post office when a man came in yelling and screaming at the post office clerk about his mail delivery. Now you know that this issue was not the clerk's fault. And yet he was bearing the brunt of this man's wrath as if it were. I didn't say anything (hindsight is always 20/20, and I wish I had) — but when it was my turn in line, I found myself treating that clerk with extra kindness.
That incident reminded me of an old Native American story. The "Two Wolves" is a Cherokee parable that I learned about when I read Pema Chodron's book "Taking the Leap." Here is how she tells it:
A Native American grandfather was speaking to his grandson about violence and cruelty in the world and how it comes about. He said it was as if two wolves were fighting in his heart. One wolf was vengeful and angry, and the other wolf was understanding and kind. The young man asked his grandfather which wolf would win the fight in his heart. And the grandfather answered, "The one that wins will be the one I choose to feed."
How do we feed the kind wolf? By paying attention, and by practicing so that our kindness becomes habit. My friend Julie Aaron wrote about this in a column a few weeks ago. She said, "If one of your goals is to be a good person, that goal can be accomplished through repeatedly practicing good actions. Eventually, performing good actions will become a habit, a part of our nature." Julie also reminds us that "this does not happen immediately. It takes time, just as mastering anything is a matter of practicing it again and again."
I'm glad that I have the story of the Two Wolves to remind me that our actions are determined by feeding the kind and compassionate animal. I hope that the kind wolf is winning the fight in your heart.
If you have a story you'd like to share here in the Fernandina Observer — about a neighbor or friend or stranger or business that showed you kindness, or about kindness and compassion in general - please contact Peggie Weeks at pegweeks@gmail.com
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Mark Tomes
Good insights, Peggie. I've come to think of the concept of whole men and half men (yes, it's usually men that are ruling the world, but the following applies to women, also). A whole person understands they are not the center of the world, that all of their actions have consequences on other people and the world around them, that they are but a minuscule part of the entire grand, working, dynamic universe, and consequently, they are able to have understanding of others, tolerance for differences, patience when others are not doing what they want, and compassion for those in less fortunate circumstances. A half person has never quite grown up to see that the world does not revolve around them, that others have the same rights as they do, and everybody is doing the best they can with what they have. Half people often live in fear, anger, and vindictiveness. It is as if their house is on fire and they only have half a bucket of water to put it out with. A whole person has a whole bucket of water, i.e., resources with which to deal with the trials and tribulations of life. They have perspective, patience, and understanding.
Monday, March 30 Report this
RobertR
The Boy Scouts of American stood for alot of things. One in particular code has always stood out for me. "Do a Good Turn Daily" was one of the Scouts mantra's. My translation of that has always been to extent one random act of kindness daily. Some days it's as simple as pausing and letting another pass, holding a door open or helping a total stranger when it would be so easy to just move along. Sometimes it's way harder like choosing not to argue or take advantage of someone clearly acting as a King. Funny, sometimes the need presents itself early in the day. Other days harder. It becomes a mindset. There is a man up in Maine on an island I believe who gives out buttons saying, "Spread Kindness". Think about this, it takes just as much energy(sometimes more) to be a crude and rude individual as it does to be a caring and kind individual. Sometimes less. I do not believe that the World will ever be changed in speeches and fluff. I believe in Kindness.
Wednesday, April 1 Report this